He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
