wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
