My hair reeks of homosexuality.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
