If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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