Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
