There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
