i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
