I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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