did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
