Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
