Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
