My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
