i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
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