just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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