You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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