So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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