I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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