This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
