I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Randomize
