U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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