He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
She made me pour olive oil on her.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
