Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Randomize
