Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
