if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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