are you still at the devil's house?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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