Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
