Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
He has the fingertips of a God
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
