I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
