He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
