Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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