people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
