Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
