Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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