Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
