I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
