the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
