two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize
