I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
