I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
i now understand why vodka
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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