We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
