Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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