No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
