Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
