Christians are straight up FREAKS
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
