When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
