Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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