Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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