You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
