Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
