At least make sure they are 18
Why
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
