woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
