Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
