you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
