his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Dicks are not precious.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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