i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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