Plan B is the new Plan A
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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