you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
